“When
you stop expecting people to be perfect, you can like them for who they are.”
“When
someone shows you who they are, believe
them; the first time.”
“There
is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves.”
“Live authentically. Why would you continue to
compromise something that's beautiful to create something that is fake?”
“When
you are living the best version of yourself, you inspire others to live the
best versions of themselves.”
“Nothing
can be more hurtful to your heart than betraying yourself.”
“Take
care not to listen to anyone who tells you what you can and can't be in life.”
“I
will never be Ms., Mr., or Mrs. Perfect'.”
“I
don’t care what anyone thinks about me, I’m myself.”
“Be
yourself, everyone else is already taken.”
Such comments indicate a real desire to understand
oneself and others around us, and we believe that understanding ourselves will
somehow allow us to begin understanding others around us better. What a mistake
this would be.
Unfortunately, understanding ourselves may be as
difficult of a task as trying to actually be
ourselves. People do not start life knowing exactly who they are. Our
personalities are as flexible as our next desired emotional needs may be. We actually change personalities regularly through
a series of learning processes that involve our inner trial-by-error
senses. Those senses develop over a
period-of-time by observing and analyzing our experiences, and our desired
experiences. Which ultimately results in changes to our behaviors, emotions, and personalities on a continuous
basis.
Not all personality changes are created through direct
intentions of our design. Most come unnoticed and occur rather automatically
through our subconscious learning process. We tend to be creatures of habit
whether we realize the habits or not. The things that occur around us, and
especially on a repetitive basis, become natural occurrences within our minds.
This repetitive observance or experience
becomes a part of us. Our minds adapt to them, and our behaviors, emotions, and
personalities synch with these repetitive things to become reality. Whether we
realize it or not, we become one with
whatever we are exposed to.
All people possess characteristic traits that distinguish
their behaviors, emotions, and personalities. But are they unique to us? Are we
capable of having completely unique qualities that are solely our own? Probably
not. Our personalities can only be developed through the learned processes of:
“automatic unconscious repetitive learning (AURL),” and/or the selective
process of “aspiring to higher needs (AHN).”
Aspiring to higher needs, as mildly described above,
consists of choosing selective qualities for-the-purpose of becoming better
individuals. Throughout life, we change
in ways that familiarize and accommodate our friends, our family, our immediate
needs, and our desired needs. Our personalities shift to provide ourselves with
the qualities that are admirable to others, and by others.
Other people, including ourselves, seek out the admirable and superior human qualities
of being: acknowledged, competent, confident, focused, forgiving, free willed,
important, in control, independent, kind, knowledgeable, optimistic,
productive, proud, reassured, respected, understandable, valued and worthy. We
call these emotional needs the “Aspiring Emotional Needs.” They are simply what
people aspire to become. Again, this happens automatically and subconsciously,
and/or through direct changes to our current personalities. If you perform a
reverse research on each word, you will find that the list contains the most
extreme characteristics of what people fear becoming.
Imagine for a moment a time when you were fully engaged
in the admiration of another person's
qualities. This could have happened while watching your favorite T.V. show or
movie. Or, quite possibly reading your favorite book containing your favorite
character. How did your personality change when you closed your book or turned
off your television? Did you or anyone else notice changes in your personality?
It is an amazing and natural process where we adopt other people’s qualities
into our own. This is a phenomenon known as style mimicking. The great work of American social psychologist,
James W. Pennebaker, expanded the world's
knowledge of such happenings. We found that with Dr. Pennebaker’s research and
combined with our own emotional behavior research, something interesting
appeared.
As we have shown above, the “aspiring emotional needs
theory,” has provided us with a new level of understanding concerning how
people are always in a flux of improvement. This improvement quest reveals that
people are always searching to improve on their personal qualities. We have
also learned that the qualities we possess today, may not entirely be of our
own design. Our minds have been searching and adopting higher qualities from
others since birth. Some adopted by choice, others automatically and uncontrollably.
So when people say, “that you must be
yourself,” being yourself must be a mystery. Realistically thinking, we are all
products of external experiences, environments, and of the people, we have admired in life.
How can this knowledge help us in our public relations,
advertising, and marketing endeavors? Simple really, if we know the qualities
people are always in constant search for, we can provide those qualities for
them through our work. Do you remember the Mr. Clean man? Mr. Clean is a brand
name and mascot fully owned by Procter & Gamble, used as an all-purpose cleaner.
Mr. Clean was a bulky, confident, proud and respected figure. Although an
imaginative figure, Mr. Clean was extremely effective in the sense that people
young and old admired him. How about the Marlboro Man? The Marlboro Man was a
figure used in tobacco advertising campaigns for Marlboro cigarettes. The
Marlboro Man was first conceived by Leo Burnett in 1954. The images featured
the ruggedness of men as portrayed in a variety of roles. Most people during
that time were drawn towards this figure
and the Marlboro brand. It was a powerful statement
and a statement that provided people with an aspiration, an admiration for being better. Not that tobacco is cool by
any means, but it established a powerful image in the minds of people who
sought admirable qualities. Which we have learned, is sought out by all people,
in all stages of their lives, and continuously throughout life.
Understanding exactly how people grow and expand into new
personalities will greatly enhance public relations, advertising, and marketing
efforts. Realizing that people do indeed seek certain superior personality
qualities, will also greatly enhance efforts and desires. Maslow and McClelland
were both correct concerning people’s hierarchy of needs; however, the need for
people to become admirable, to attain to more superior qualities of “being a
better person,” may have been understated.
For more information regarding Human Behaviors, or to
start your public relations campaign
Contact:
Outstory
Public Relations and Marketing Group
Advice That’s Precise
outstoryprgroup.com
704-904-0682
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